Feeling a little stuck? How one teeny tiny step forward can change everything…

We all tend to fall into a bit of a slump occasionally. We get a little tired (or completely and utterly exhausted!). We lose all motivation. Stay in bed too long. Watch TV on the couch, rather than doing the things we should be doing. The things that we love doing.

It’s certainly not unusual, for us, as horse riders to lose the plot when it comes to achieving our riding goals. To choose to remain sitting on that couch, rather than heading out to ride. To make excuses about being too busy to exercise. Or too busy to create a healthy meal, so we simply snack on utter crap instead (cue the coffee and sugar!). To procrastinate.

We know these patterns and ‘choices’ are not doing us any good. And the guilt sets in. You mentally beat yourself up about continually choosing to grab KFC (which makes you feel terrible), rather than opting for a home cooked healthy meal (which you know will make you feel better). You feel guilty for choosing the TV over working out or going for a walk, or lunging your horse. You feel guilty that you haven’t even touched your horse (other than feeding him) for several weeks.

And in winter, particularly when the first bout of freezing cold, wet and rainy weather hits, our lack of motivation (and our mood) only gets worse.

And the more we beat ourselves up about making the choices we know we shouldn’t be making, the more we spiral downwards. Life feels more difficult. And the place where you dream of being, only seems further and further away.

So how do you stop this horrible, but ultra human and common, damaging spiral of self-sabotage? How on earth do you get yourself motivated, when everything just seems far too hard? Where your goals are just too far away?

You take one teeny tiny single step forward.

Yep! It really is that simple.

Often, when we are aiming to achieve a goal, we assume that we need to magically jump from where you are – to that big goal – or to where we think we SHOULD be.

But the leap is too big. It’s too daunting, and too hard. So instead, we do nothing. And then beat ourselves up for doing nothing. We fall into the depths of despair – because life just doesn’t work for us. And then we see our friends, or other people around us, achieving great things with their lives and their horses, and wonder…what’s wrong with me? Why can’t I do that?

It really all comes down to mindset and taking a positive, but often ultra-gentle and a softly-softly approach. It isn’t realistic to think that you can go from sitting on the couch eating chocolate, with your horse sitting in the paddock doing nothing for a month – to magically going out and competing in a dressage test, with you looking all sophisticated in white breeches – the next day(!). Life doesn’t work like that. It takes hard work and effort.

But you already knew that, didn’t you.

Because even though we logically know in our minds that good things require effort – the thought of starting – when your dreams seem so far away, is completely overwhelming.

But I am here to tell you, that it really is incredibly simple.

Because everything starts, with just one single step forward.

One single step forward – today!

And it doesn’t need to be anything huge. Even the teeniest, tiniest things can start the forward motion again, and give you the hope and confidence to continue.

Last weekend, I was feeling a little glum. A little worn out. And as I drove home from my day of working at the shop, it got me thinking. I started pondering what I might be able to do, to get myself out of this Negative Nancy mindset. How can I make myself feel better?

Do you know what I did?

After my long Saturday of working, and finishing at 4pm - instead of collapsing in a heap on the couch like I might have liked to have done, I walked into the house. Before doing anything else, I dropped my bags, changed into my gumboots (classy I know!), and walked straight out to the paddocks to catch my horse.

I did it, without stopping. Without thinking. Because I knew if I pulled my lovely young Thoroughbred (my darling Trigger) out of the paddock, took his rug off and brushed him (like I had been talking about doing for weeks) – that it would make me feel better.

Now I haven’t touched my young horse in the last couple of months, beside feeding him. The business, life, kids and weather had gotten in the way, and I’d lost my motivation and drive. And it had felt crap. Really crap – to not do anything with my prized young horse, in that time.

And I had expected my young thoroughbred to be a tad silly, considering he had just been sitting in the paddock for that length of time. But I figured I’d just pretend he was any other old well-behaved horse and see what happened.

To my surprise, he was as gentle and as quiet as a lamb. He happily stood tied up, as quietly as an old pony club horse, and thoroughly enjoyed the grooming and fussing.

And I stood there in slight surprise as I realised how calm he was, and paused. I paused with my brushing for a moment, and realised how calm I was. So I thought – ‘maybe I should do a quick bit of groundwork – and see where he is at’. So I did. And he was pretty great. We had one minor ‘wahoo’ moment on the lunge, but the most part, he was incredibly sensible.

That’s cool, I thought. Young horses, particularly young thoroughbreds, are meant to be quite silly, after a spell. Aren’t they?

And I realised I was smiling. I was relaxed. I was at peace with the world again. And I felt inspired…and hopeful for the future.

And all it took, was one tiny step forward – in the right direction. One little tiny action, of forcing myself to commit to just giving my horse ‘a bit of a brush’. I had no expectations of anything else happening or me doing anything else, other than that.

Yet I ended up working him on the ground with great success, and it totally re-sparked my enthusiasm.

The next day, after closing the shop, I parked the kids in the backyard, and left them happily playing. Hubby was out working, so it was just me and the kids. Luckily for me, our property is set up, so that I can grab my horse, get him ready and ride, just over the other side of the fence to where the kids play in our backyard. As my son had just had his sixth birthday, they had a few new outside toys to play with and keep them occupied, so I stole my chance.

So I grabbed my horse out of the paddock. Saddled him up. And jumped on. Just. Like. That.

No husband to egg me on. No back up. Just me, and my young horse.

I rode, whilst talking to the kids over the fence (with the occasional stern word when required!). And the ride was a success.

And hey presto – baby horse is back in work! And I felt great! Especially, as I had done it all by myself.

What amazed me more, was how relaxed I was about working with him. I’ve had a few battles with Mr Baby Horse over the 12 months I have had him, and I have never been the most confident of riders – and particularly now after returning to riding after kids.

If you had of asked me a week prior about getting on him again so soon, with limited work beforehand, I would have laughed and said ‘get real’.

It’s really easy to let your imagination run away with you, of all the things a young horse could potentially do to you. And to create ridiculous mental rules, about not riding unless hubby or someone else, is around. Or only riding when the stars align and the moon is round? :p

But what I learnt last weekend, was that it was also really easy, to set your expectations quite low, and just go with the flow. No pressure placed on yourself = no stress = more success? Who would have thought?

And that one tiny little action, like forcing yourself to groom your horse, can totally get you out of the slump. And lead to bigger things, than you ever thought possible, in a very short timeframe.

And that sometimes, you ARE more capable than you think you are.

So here are my wise words of wisdom on this Saturday afternoon.

One tiny step in the right direction that leads to one tiny achievement and one tiny bit of success, can inspire you and give you enough confidence to take another tiny step.

Eventually, all these tiny little steps and achievements, can totally add up to something much bigger. Before you know it, you have achieved a goal more quickly and easily, than you thought you could. You surprise yourself as to how easy it was.

And whilst its good to have a big goal to aim for – in order to achieve that big goal, you need to break it down! Break it down into tiny, actionable steps, to prevent the sense of overwhelm – and the risk of inaction.

So now the question is, what tiny positive step or action can you take, which will take you that tiny bit closer to where you want to be?

What is the one thing you can do today?

It could be as simple as going for a walk to the letterbox and back. It could be grooming your horse. It could be making yourself a nice comforting home-cooked meal. It could be cleaning and oiling your saddle.

Whatever that tiny thing is that you know you can do right now, and gain confidence from – get off the couch and just try it.

You never know where that teeny tiny step, might lead…

Happy riding!

Sarah

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