Why mums shouldn't stop doing what they love (including horses!)

When you become a mum (and we are talking human babies here!) life gets turned upside down.  All of a sudden your independence, freedom and identity gets stripped away from you.  Especially with the birth of your first child, you go from having a life, friends, career, job, hobbies, interests etc and suddenly your entire existence is devoted purely to your little bundle of joy (yes your incredibly cute, but horrifically LOUD, screaming, pooping little 'bundle of joy'!), 24 hours a day.  You inevitably end up at their mercy, where even the most basic of your own daily needs, such as having a shower, becomes a luxury and a rare commodity!  The sleep deprivation and often loneliness turns you in to a crazy monster, and you actually envy your husband for being able to go to work and talk to adults (despite the fact that he is also sleep-walking and sleep-talking through his day!).

Many new mums question whether they should give up on the idea of horses when their children are little.  And for some that might be the right decision in certain circumstances.  But I know for me, I could not do that.  I couldn't sell my horses, I couldn't imagine life without them, and I couldn't contemplate a future without riding (at least occasionally!).  Sure it might be necessary to simplify your horse situation temporarily (eg: lease, sell, stop competing etc), but I have come to the conclusion that retaining some involvement in horses (or any other passions and hobbies) is not only healthy, but downright necessary for a mum!

Lately I have been thinking about this, as life has been really hectic for us trying to juggle two demanding young kids (who are 1 and 4), work and businesses and running a property.  Quite frankly, it has been sending me stir crazy!  And I was wondering what I could do to make our current busy lifestyle a tad more bareable. And the answer was horses!  I hadn't been making time for horses.  I'd barely made it out to the paddock to pat my horses in months, let alone do anything with them!  My husband had been doing all the feeding and care for them (often in the dark and rain after kids are in bed, god bless him!), whilst I was running around like a lunatic working crazy hours and managing kids.  I hadn't taken a break, I hadn't had any 'me' time and I was turning in to a caged up lion, or a big dark thundercloud, which wasn't doing our family much good.

For me, horses have always represented freedom.  Freedom from stress, from city traffic and noise, from family and everything else that was going on at the time.  Once on top of a horse (or even near one), I feel like I can breathe again, I can live in the moment, slow down and just ride.  Most of all I can escape my thoughts.  Thoughts of always having to be somewhere, or do something, or be the 'someone' that someone else wants me to be.

So since becoming a mum, horses have become all the more important.  They let me be 'me' again (not just 'mummy') and provide a sense of relief and peace from the craziness of the rest of the world. 

As a mum you need to do your best to make yourself a priority.  It is a really hard thing to do, and you do need help and support to make it happen.  It is well proven that exercise, fresh air, socialising and pursuing interests and hobbies can be vitally important to anyone's health and wellbeing, and even more important (in my opinion) to mums.  Otherwise your physical health suffers and so does your mental health.  If an hour a week to ride or even groom a horse makes you a slightly happier and saner mum, than that is exactly what you must do - after all that happiness can only help the wellbeing of your kids!  Get a friend, or a family member, or neighbour, or your partner to look after the kids and allow yourself time to escape (and no feeling guilty allowed!).  If no one is available to you, investigate child care options, even if its an occasional care centre. 

If you can't have or ride your own horse, borrow a friends horse, go watch a clinic, go on a trail ride or book a lesson at a riding school.  Hell, stop the car beside a horse filled paddock (safely and non-stalkerish!) and just watch them grazing if that's all you can manage!  Whatever it takes! 

Because ultimately the world needs happy mummy's, as a happy mummy creates a happier family and a much happier life. 

Remember: Horses truly are magical creatures with great healing abilities for those of us lucky enough to fall victim to their extraordinary super powers...

And from now on I will be taking my own advice - this weekend I am hitting the paddocks :)

Happy riding (or horse watching!)